Ayden Michael (“Ivy”) Wachs

November 2, 2005 - March 2, 2023

We are devastated to share that our precious son and brother, Ayden Michael Wachs, died on March 2, 2023. What we feared and fought desperately to avoid has now become reality and the anguish of our hearts is laid bare. Our beautiful child is gone at the age of 17 — his life stolen from him by a fentanyl poisoning.

Ayden was born on November 2, 2005 in San Diego, California, where he would live the rest of his life. Some of you may have known our beautiful child as Ayden. Some of you may have known them as Ivy. To honor and respect both their deeply lived strength of character and our personal understanding of our kid, we are using their chosen and given names here. It may be imperfect. But Ayden was OK with that. He could handle imperfection; it was hypocrisy that he wouldn’t suffer. They lived honestly and simply expected honesty in return. 

Living up to the meaning of his full given name, which translates to ‘Fiery Warrior’, Ayden had a big, dynamic presence even as a very young child. His high energy, high volume, high silliness personality was impossible not to love, but it was always his huge heart that left the biggest impression. Ivy loved big and felt everything deeply. You never had to wonder how they felt because they were affectionate, quick with words of love, and always eager to seek a true connection. Even in the darkest moments, their love was overflowing and they would constantly find a moment to show or say how much they loved you. 

Ayden was funny. He had a quick wit and a sharp, biting sense of humor. His urge to crack jokes, combined with his colorful vocabulary, often left us fighting back laughter, knowing we shouldn’t be encouraging it. But even if you managed to not break at the original joke or inappropriate word, you’d be taken in by Ayden’s unmistakable, infectious laugh - and you knew he delighted most in being able to get the ‘I shouldn’t be laughing at this’ laughs.  

It’s difficult to try to capture the magic of Ivy’s personality without falling to cliches, but to know them was to know they were set apart from the rest - they were not like anybody else you will ever meet. And that makes this loss all the more crushing. Ayden never pretended to be anything other than himself, even if it meant walking in an unwelcoming world. He was honest to a fault, and would not moderate his point of view to make it palatable for others to accept. He could not tolerate unfairness in any context and would not stand silent in the face of injustice. He was deeply affected by the reality of how the marginalized and oppressed are treated in our world and especially in this country and he used his voice to advocate for those who were maligned, misunderstood, and mistreated. He knew well the torment and suffering that accompanies mental and emotional pain and he would not ignore the suffering of others. 

It was not enough for Ayden to hope for change; he was determined to play a role in healing hearts and righting the wrongs he witnessed in the world. From a young age, Ayden was decisive about wanting to dedicate his life to helping others, ultimately hoping to become a psychiatrist or a counselor for addiction support. Ayden, who at times struggled so hard to see his own worth through his battle with mental health and addiction, never failed to see the value of others who are fighting the same diseases. His empathy and compassion was a gift to us all, as was his sensitivity, kindness, quick-witted humor, advocacy, and love. 

We thought we would have more time. Though the last few years were at times anguishing and terrifying, we still could never have imagined we would have to bury our child. We know that was never a promise we were given, but rather a presumption we grasped at, holding it so tightly we didn’t even realize it was rapidly evaporating, disappearing day by day from our anxious and desperate grip. Ayden thought he would have more time. He wanted to live. He fought to stay alive. He had plans for the future and a vision of what his life would look like when he came through on the other side of this disease. He fought as only a Fiery Warrior could, and while some may carelessly say he “lost his battle with his disease”, we know nothing can be further from the truth. He won at every turn, and only his body gave in to a poison so cruelly hidden.

Our precious Ayden. We have loved you and will always love you with the unconditional love you so deserve. It was not the blind love of parents who had no choice, but the fierce, hard-fought love that scaled mountains, slayed dragons, and dared the legions of hell to wage war. There are no words that can adequately describe the joy you brought us. We are better for having known you and the love you so freely gave. We know that the courage you demonstrated as you fought a battle too big for most giants, never refusing help nor giving up, will give strength and inspiration to others who are fighting the same fight. And though your life has been ruthlessly cut short, the depth of your heart and your capacity to love will endure. 

While he spent so much of his short life fighting a fight he did not ask for or deserve, Ayden was welcomed into eternity by a God he knew loved him beyond measure. Our bright and radiant Fiery Warrior has not simply abandoned this physical realm, but was scooped up into the arms of His loving Creator, fully healed, where he will forever be at peace. And in exchange for that, we will submit to this heart-wrenching loss and pain. Ayden will forever be healed, awaiting the day he is joined by his Dad and Mom, Robert and Lisa, and his big brother Corbyn. Being the extrovert he is, he wants all his family and friends to be there with him too. If you take comfort in the hope of eternal life and salvation, in honour of Ayden we encourage you to connect with a pastor or spiritual leader in your community who can guide and support you on your path. We longed for a day when Ayden would be free from his pain and we forever hoped he would live to feel that relief. Although we would give anything to have him back, we take comfort in knowing that he doesn’t have to fight anymore. 

Ayden’s life will be honored at Newbreak Church in San Diego, CA (10791 Tierrasanta Blvd., San Diego, California) on Monday, March 13, 2023 at 10am; private interment to follow, traditional funeral attire. A viewing and visitation will be held on Sunday March 12, 2023 between 3pm and 6pm, during which time the family will also receive visitors for condolence calls. Please RSVP to denise@newbreak.org to receive details of the visitation services.

Ayden died on March 2, which was World Teen Mental Wellness Day. If you are struggling with mental health or addiction, Ayden would want you to know that you are worth saving. He would tell you that your life is worth fighting for. He would want you to get help and to seek comfort and refuge from the pain and anguish that your disease is inflicting on you. He would want you to know that he has a vision for your future, too, when you are on the other side of this. And we, Ayden’s family, want you to know that the people who know and love you do not hold your disease against you. We want you to know that you are not beyond the point of no return. To access resources for mental health and addiction support, we encourage you to visit the National Alliance for Mental Health (NAMI) for Kids, Teens, and Young Adults.

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